The early bird catches the worm.
Time for breakfast, and what other breakfast would be more Saigon than Pho?
We hop into a taxi and ask the driver, "What's the best Pho place around?"
We didn’t quite expect that he would take us to a touristy one, the question meant, "Where do you go, yourself ?"
None the less, we ended up curb-side at a banner that screamed “Pho for the President !” - Pho 2000.
This was the only eatery in town that President at the time, Bill Clinton visited and enjoyed a nice bowl of steaming pho.
There are photos up on the wall of the visit taken from different angles of the room. (One of his left chew, one of his right...and so on..)
The pho was alright, nothing mind-blowing, the prices were presidential compared to most. 
After breakfast we bravely cross the road to the Ben Thanh market.
Crossing the road is a pretty mean task ...especially if you are Cat.
Whenever we need to cross the road she screams and squirms.
My hand is squeezed to a pulp as we continue walking amongst the trucks, buses, cars, mopeds and motorbikes going around us.
As we safely manage to step foot onto the foot path, Cat’s case of traffic tourettes simmers down and disappears.
The general rule of thumb for a pedestrian crossing the road here is.. that you give way to cars/trucks/buses; being stop and let them pass, as for motorcyles, walk at an even pace..they will swerve around you. Only, they swerve and weave at the last possible moment, making Cat want to piss herself.
The Ben Thanh market is the mecca for local shopping, I suppose the locals could buy anything here.
As you walk through the aisles, being foreigners, we catch the attention of the stall keepers, and so trigger a frenzy of activity disrupting their inactive state.
“Sir Sir, please buy this oneeeee”
“Con, you buy”
”Can i help you Sir ?”
”What are you looking for Madammmm?”
The locals stare at us from head to toe making sure to double take.
It’s no big deal to stare here.
They are thinking wow what FAT c*nts.
Cat loves the fact that they don’t think she is Vietnamese, apparently she’s too big and too white to be Vietnamese.
They are truly shocked and in awe when she speaks the native tongue. 
We do a quick lap of the markets, Ryan buys some jade rings after I exercise some Vietnamese haggling.
We decide we've both had enough of the horrifying heat in the market and head for Diamond Plaza shopping centre.
Out front of the Diamond Plaza, we meet a Banh Cam (Vietnamese Sugar Glazed Cakes) vendor and buy one.
As with most department stores and shopping centres in Asia, cameras are prohibited.
Prohibition normally wouldn't stop Ryan (those of you who know him well, know this).
Being in a Communist country kind of instills fear in you which put ideas into your head like: 'I could be sent to prison for taking a picture of that escalator...'
So, unfortunately, we only have a few photos from Diamond plaza.
Diamond plaza, was one of the first luxury department stores opened in Saigon city funded by the Koreans.
It boasts a bowling alley, cinema, arcade parlour, all the big cosmetic counters, mens and ladies fashions, homewares, bar, supermarket (which we made a quick dash to stock up on the home-like essentials, like Coke and chocolate) , a Pizza Hut and a KFC over four levels.
Our hotel here has quickly become our oasis in this big sweaty city.
Replace the grains of sand of a desert with the people on crazy mopeds and the camels for taxis.
We find ourselves making expeditions to markets and shopping centres and then retreating back to the cool, calm and welcoming comfort of phong 301 (room 301).
We’ve already desecrated the minibar, which, unlike the minibars of Sydney and other international cities, this one is a steal!
We decide to venture out again to stock up on supplies, and hop a taxi to the local Co-Op Mart in order to create our home away from home.
Whist waiting in the lobby as the Doorman hailed us a cab and instructed the driver where to take us.
As Ryan and I were yabbering and complaining about heat and humdity, we hear a loud **SMASH** and the unmistakable 'OOIII-YAHH's of a young asian girl.
We peer out from the entrance to find a flurry of people and capsized mopeds.
Trying to make sense of what just happened, a little while later, I was able to make out that :
1. A woman and a girl on one moped, and a small woman on another moped carrying 2 or 3 large crates of some sort of stock she was delivering had collided, head on, causing the young girl to burn her calf on the hot muffler of the moped. Hence the teary OOIII-YAHH's.
2. The woman delivering her crates had somehow caused the accident.
3. Police officers, who were standing around having coffee at the local squat bar (a small cafe bar where men squat to drink their coffees on little plastic stools.) were yelling at the culprit and trying to pry the cargo away from her, insisting that she come back to their station because she caused the crash.
Mortified by the insane, intense, commotion we had just witnessed, we quickly jumped into the taxi and were whisked away.
On a Sunday at the Co-Op Mart, this seems to be the place everyone goes and we feel like ants working the tunnels for a Queen.
Here we picked up essentials like bottled water and marvelled at the strange, like black q-tips... yes, when white qtips just won't do.
And right on cue, we retire back to the hotel to ready ourselves for the next expedition.
Refreshed after showers and a nap, we decide to venture out again, this time to the Lacoste store at the New World Hotel.
True to form all over the world, the Lacoste range is a real hit and miss with only 10% of products being desirable.
Ryan has plans to replenish his wardrobe by visiting the 3 stores here in Saigon but only to find that he was, according to the sales people : "Cao qua..".. too tall.
He still managed to find something to buy though.
And so we hit the next lot of department stores and shopping complexes in the tourist quarter.
The Vincom centre is a new western style shopping centre housing many familiar brands but more so the local asian fashion brands so nothing really caught our eye.
We had lunch at Thai Express.
The supermarkets are stocked full of cheap goodies.
Everything we have at home + more @ about 1/5 of the price.
The fresh produce / refrigerated aisles are gross though.
I spotted some Aussie beef but would have to be desperate to eat it, i think.
Time for dinner and we decide to put on our nice clothes for the dinner buffet at the Saigon Sheraton.
We jump into the cab and cat requests to be taken to the Sheraton hotel.
The taxi driver seems puzzled and has two renditions of saying Sheraton.
Clearly he doesn’t know where it is but drives towards the area.
In frustration we are asked to be let out infront of the Caravelle hotel which we know is somewhere near the Sheraton.
We started walking in search of the Sheraton, but didn’t have any luck spotting it, where the hell is it ?
After walking past the Gucci store, we kept walking but it seemed like we were starting to get lost.
Frustrated now with a feral, ragey Fiancee in tow, I decided to turn around towards the main strip by walking down a side street.
Here’s where things escalated, this side street was a dark shady street lined with local men sitting on their mopeds infront of shady bars and slums.
Even though Cat was the white skinned foreign female, she seemed to think I would be the one these locals would want take advantage of.
In her rageful state with her fists pumped, she muttered “You’re on your own if you get raped” and so i clenched my butt cheeks firmly as i picked up the walking pace.
Back around the corner, we are in front of the Caravelle hotel.
In desperation … Cat asks if we can just eat here… and it was lucky we did.
The buffet was mainly seafood based with sashimi/sushi, a giant fish, raw seafood bar, oysters, roasts, dim sims, cheeses, puddings and desserts galore.
With taste buds stimulated we return “home” for sleep.
(We aren’t night party people so we miss out on the hype of clubs, bars, discoteques and night clubs).
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